The C-rant

Liberals Die, Dion Goes Bye Bye

2008-10-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

There's 5 seconds left on the clock in the third and Dion is down 5-0. In classic Canadian fashion I'm going to go on and kiss him, yes go on and kiss him, goodbye.

We had a good run sir. You were unimpressive at every turn as the leader of your party and were destroyed in the useless election this month. Much like the way you came across on the television, you have left your party weak and meek and asking itself questions about its future.

But lets not forget the good times shall we? While they were few and far between for Liberal party members and anyone looking for a choice to the Harper issue, we were still able to enjoy your pouty face and nerdy speeches on numerous occasions, and personally you gave me lots of fodder for my blog canon, so for that I salute you.

Related Articles:

Neon Dion Needs To Bulk Up
A Man Of Many Faces
Dion's Dubious Platform and a Modest Man's Solutions

Get Out and Don't Vote....Please. Just Go For Ice Cream or Beer Instead

2008-10-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

Thankfully another useless Federal Election has passed(the third in 4 years) and Canadians have once again come out in force (sorta...) to practice democracy. Leading up to voting day the same slogan was fervently puked out by all politicians across the entire political spectrum.

Get out and vote.

But after talking to people from a variety of socio-economical backgrounds and age groups about their political choices and the reasoning behind their selection, I just have one thing to say.

Please get out and don't vote.

Don't do it.

Canada deserves better.

You people suck.

I honestly don't think everyone should vote. Why not? Well I've narrowed down a few reasons to help alleviate the pressure and effort that comes with going to your local voting booth and dropping in a ballot.

(For more enjoyable reading, try using a Jeff Foxworthy “You might be a redneck” voice in your head)

1)If you don't know who the leaders are of the major political parties then you should probably not vote - If you are so ill informed to confused Harper with Dion then we, unfortunately, cannot have your vote canceling out the vote of one of the people who decided to spend minimal effort keeping abreast of the basic political situation(We'll give you a pass if you don't know who Elizabeth May is).

I know people who can't read and still are more educated about our leaders and their plans than 50 percent of the population is.

2)If you are a seperatist then you should probably not vote - You don’t want to be a part of Canada so then you might as well not bother spending any effort deciding the direction of the country. Go bake some baguettes and re-watch The Barbarian Invasions to pass the time.

3) If you vote for the same party everytime despite economic, social, environmental, and global changes or party leadership changes you probably shouldn't vote. You're voting sole on weak sauce black and white, us vs them thinking and don’t actually care about this country and the major changes that have occurred in it between elections. You are a partisan hack and therefore your heavy bias and sad lack of self esteem will only further the divide between bleeding heart pinko liberals and fascist racist neo cons.

4) If you vote for someone because your relatives did then you probably shouldn't vote. If you’re voting for a party or leader because your husband does than just take your ballot and wipe your bare bottom with it until its red with blood. If you vote because of parental influence then cut the umbilical cord because your parents have too much control over your beliefs and life.

5) If you live in the Maritimes or Quebec you probably shouldn't vote - Please don’t. In this unfair system you already get a disproportionately large amount of votes compared to your population and tax payments. Give the West a chance. Just try it for once. We’re not bad people. We won’t cut your obscene funding. I swear(crosses fingers behind back).

Stephen Harper Is No Tin Man

2008-10-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

Part 1 of the article found here
Part 2 of the article found here

TIME TO BE PLEASANT

-Person asks each speaker to say something nice about the person to the left. This will be easy for 4 of the 5 speakers.

-Everyone bites their tongue and seems to be able to compliment each other. Of all the candidates, Elizabeth May has the toughest time complimenting the man to her left, Stephen Harper. No one is surprised or upset in the least.

ATTACK ADS

-Conservative government started attack ads. G-ranical thinks Liberals should ‘ave as well.

-There is group sensus about being polite and nice and showing respect (This part of the debate really shows the differences between Canadian and American debate issues).

-Talk about dirty personal attacks on Parliament floor.

-Dion says Harper accuses scientists of being partisan and then declares them enemies. Dion says Harper is taking away free speech and attacking any opposition, no matter where it comes from, as partisan.

-Dion mentions some hilarious examples of Harpers attacks. Harper stating anyone against the war is a Taliban member. Says any economics against his are asking for recession. G-ranical is against the war. G-ranical realizes he must now buy a burka.

CRIME

-Professor at Dawson College where shooting occurred wonders why automatic weapons are legal in Canada

-Harper says he’s invested in better checks for weapons. Blames Liberals gun laws. Such a big gun registry, so little change.

-May says semi-automatic guns should be outlawed. She obviously hasn’t enjoyed the thrill of holding a strong, powerful, burning object as it went off in her hand...

-Duceppe says Harpers position is Bush’s position. More guns, more people in jail. Harper decides against using his own slogan “Get a gun, have some fun”.

-Harper says young offenders need tougher sentences for very violent crimes. Harper was clearly bullied in high school for wearing too many sweaters.

QUEBEC

-All leaders take their turns sucking up to Quebec. G-ranical can barely stomach the slobbering.

- Arts and culture cuts from Harper mentioned repeatedly. Apparently Stephen is not a fan of Circ Du Solei.

HEALTH CARE

-Layton says Harpers gift to corporations (tax cuts for banks) will hurt Canadian Health Care, especially training doctors. G-ranical wants to know what kinds of gifts they’re getting and if Harper is just being polite on birthdays and Christmas.

-Dion calls Harper a conservative with distaste and then Layton a socialist with the same distaste. What does that make Dion? A John Kerry, salmon out of water, flip flopper?

-May calls Harper on his promise of reducing waiting times. Says he couldn’t keep the promise because its impossible without the cooperation of the provinces. Harper doesn’t hide the fact that he’s not a fan of Provinces. I guess he prefers states...

-Duceppe says Ottawa should send the provinces the money and then butt out. Duceppe is use to a lot of thing happening this way in Quebec.

RANDOM NOTES

-Layton’s translators make him sound slow and dumb

-Dion comes out of debate seeming more competent and less absurd then the extremes Left and Right surrounding him. He’s “Even Stephane”. (I’m going to laugh at my own terrible pun and if you don’t want to then...fine. I accept that.)

-Harper came across as less stiff and more a real person when he compliments the person to his left, Jack Layton, as asked by a TV viewer. Conservative heads must have used extra oil to grease Tin Man’s joints.

-Elizabeth May, as expected, adds little to the debate while wasting precious airtime.

5 year plans, Listeriosis and Plagiarism: Not The Soivet Union But Close

2008-10-02T02:57:00.000-07:00

Part 1 of this article found here
Part 3 of this article found here

CONSUMER ISSUES

-Consumer asks about oil reserves in Canada and how it doesn’t translate to average Canadian. The consumer asks about Nationalization(Next this random consumer will want to know about 5 year plans).

-Dion responds with vagueness. NUMBERS DION! “We ‘ave a plan, we ‘ave a strategy”. I’m sure you do.

-Green Party not in favour. G-ranical shocked. G-ranical kidding. May thinks consumers need alternative energy sources

-Duceppe is not in favour. Ottawa would want to take control of Quebec’s hydro. Subtext? "OUT OF THE QUESTION YOU DIRTY ANGLO FIENDS!"

-Harper cuts tax for gas. States Canada benefited greatly from high oil prices (at least people working in Alberta did).

-“Just like in school, I see people raise their hands, Mr. Dion and Mr. Layton” (Moderator burns both opposition members in the same sentence!)

-Duceppe believes “Polluter pay principle” to lower emissions. G-ranical believes “West pays East principle” to run Canadian economy.

-May thinks cutting GST (Notes that Harper stole idea from Australian PM. Again with the plagiarism) doesn’t help the average person. Must reduce income taxes. Payroll taxes for employers and employees and not reduce corporate taxes. But that begs the question; who will ever want to move up to management then?

-NDP doesn’t support increase on GST (hmm). Believes in renewable energy and infrastructures.

-Dion – Harpers plan criticized economically, bureaucratically and environmentally. Fails to note all 3 criticisms come from himself.

LISTERIOSIS ISSUE

-Duceppe thinks this is a case of Laissez Faire (DAMNIT! Even in the translation Duceppe is confusing me)

-Harper is evil – de-regulation caused Listeriosis. More of this in our future. G-ranical thinks Harper should wash his hands more often.

ENVIRONMENT

-May says Harper’s Carbon targets are dangerous. Threatening future with this plan. Canada lacking behind the rest of the world. “Your plan is a type of a fraud.”

-Harper blames Liberal inaction from past. Says he has hard targets. The targets are Duceppe, Dion, and Layton, in that order.

-Layton says Harper is the only leader of a developed country that is following his environmental approach, as Bush is leaving office. (Nobody laughs). During this May laughs and says it’s a joke.(Sorry. No one of importance laughs). Viewers don’t see the comedy of it but it must be an inside joke.

-Layton says Harper gave polluters Carte Blanche (Another French reference flies over my head).

-“It’s a faceoff between Duceppes finger and May’s smile. Duceppes finger will go first.” Moderator tries to bring humour to this dull church sermon.

French Language Debate Mayhem

2008-10-02T02:19:00.000-07:00

Part 2 of this article found here
Part 3 of this article found here

Strangest debate ever!

-Debate moderator needs a whip and a chip on his shoulder to take control of this bull stampede. This is a free for all like elementary students arguing about sports.

-Round table discussion format makes it seem that Harper is literally being attacked from all angles. (Smug face can only take him so far against the onslaught). It’s like France 1944 all over again. A multitude of nations attacking the stronghold of the Nazis. Harper is not a Nazi and should not be compared to one.

-Harper counters economy issues by attacking Dion’s Carbon Tax and uses the previous economic growth to bolster his side. Attacking Dion is like shooting an elk with two broken legs and tread marks on its ribs. Harper is somehow able to avoid the issue of terror that might be the future of Canada’s economy with a dead and dormant US cousin.

-Duceppe attacks Harper on oil tax breaks for big business

-May “As a woman, as a single mother, I do understand what economic measures are all about” AND THERE IT IS! Bringing out the estrogen angle. I warned about this.

Question about bailout plan for Canada’s economy like Americans are attempting

-Duceppes says no way (Unless its for Quebec of course wink wink)

-Dion says nothing but lips still move

-Layton’s translator is turning me on. I think he’s flirting with me indirectly through the cover of a debate. Its cute. But I’m not ready for a relationship the bilingual man will surely desire.

-Harper thinks economy rock solid and so are our banks. Harper thinks taxes will create recession and deficit. He forgets the last time his government was in majority they ran a huge deficit and Liberals had to clean up through the use of taxes...

-Dion talks about contingency fund or cushion that Harper has taken away (Tax cuts have to come from somewhere). Dion brings about Harper’s de-regulation plans and how that is the problem in banking in the U.S. G-ranical becomes scared.

-Duceppe thinks manufacturing should get cuts not oil(I wonder why that is? West = Oil vs Quebec= manufacturing).

Duceppe Pwns G-ranical

2008-10-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Are you talking to me, G-ranical? Well there's no one else here so you must be talking to me.

While researching this great white haired pheasant I tried accessing his website. I think my dyslexia has returned because I am having trouble understanding any of the gibberish. The letters all seem to be in the wrong spots.

It is not only a great show of anti-English solidarity by the Bloc in using only Francais on their webpage, but it’s also a great tactical move as well. The G-ranical can not fun make with information he cannot understand. Drawing cartoons in French 11 has only taken his secondary language skills so far.

I salute you Mr. Duceppe but watch your back. The English translator on the upcoming French Debates will aide my vicious and comedic mind.

Gilles Duceppe's Dirty Little Secret

2008-10-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

Gilles Duceppe is holding out on Canada. He has a penguin/human-mixed-breed psychopath living somewhere and I want to meet it.

As you may have noticed, I have trouble judging Gilles Duceppe on his Quebecois rhetoric and political voting history. I’m blinded all too easily by his remarkable resemblance to the daptly dressed Christopher Walken from the 1992 Tim Burton Film, Batman Returns.

I don’t think anyone between the ages of 22 to 45 can think seriously about Duceppe’s platform without first knowing and understanding his association with this fictional, yet disturbing, character.

I mean sure, if there wasn’t an angry disgusting looking super villain terrorist connected to Duceppe, we could probably discuss his separation beliefs along with his anti-American stance and general left leaning ideals. Or the fact that he use to be part of the Communist Party (GASP!)

But I’m getting ahead of myself and focusing on minor political variables when there is something much greater at stake; scientific genetic mutation and a future of man-bear-pigs running around the earth trying to succeed the human race as the immanent ruling species on the planet.

So I must ask, is the connection between the two well known silver haired characters (I may be going out on a limb here but I’m not entirely sure Duceppe is a real person) only so tenuously based on their genetics similarities, or are they so similar that one cannot tell them apart?

The character Gilles Duceppe is the son of actor Jean Duceppe.
The character Max Shreck’s name is born from actor Max Schreck.

It gets better.

To gain more power and get elected in Parliament, Gilles ran for the “Bloc” Quebecois.
To gain more power Max used the Red “triangle” gang to get his penguin elected and get his power plant made.

And if this bit of geometry isn’t convincing enough then look no further than these dirty triangle relationships.

Stephane Dion is Duceppe’s enemy in Quebec. Both Dion and Duceppe are enemies of Stephen Harper and will therefore work together in voting against him in Parliament. They do this while at the same time they attempt to discredit and steal voters from each other in their French homeland. All three (Dion, Duceppe, Harper), despite their differences, unite against the far left leper of Jack Layton.

The Penguin and Max worked together to try to take over Gotham. Meanwhile, Max tried to kill Selena Kyle, thereby creating Catwoman who wants to now return the favour to Max. All three (Max, Penguin, Catwoman), despite their differences, attempt to discredit and destroy the goody two shoes Batman.
Eventually after Penguin’s unsuccessful attempt, Catwoman is able to kill Max Shreck,sacrificing herself in the process.

*You guys figure out what that metaphor means for the coming election*

So with all this irrefutable evidence the important question remains; where’s Pengy at?

The Top Five Reasons The Green Party Should Not Be In The National Debate

2008-09-30T02:03:00.000-07:00

1) If they get in, then I could get in. Suddenly no one is wearing pants in Parliament.

Although, a naked Stephane Dion is an attractive thought...

Sorry. You know I meant Harper. Those eyes...so blue.

2) They’re not a real party – Seriously? You actually think a random mix of idealist hippies and pot smoking communists grouping together and muttering protests of environmental concerns without a sound economic plan(Oh... wait a tick)is a legitimate party? Think again. And get off my lawn. This isn’t a park.

3) Members in parliament? One

Yeah, like the party with only one member in Parliament should be in the debate.

Come on!

Come on!
Uploaded by alexis711

4) Having the female Green Party leader in the debate will make the men uncomfortable, what with her penis envy and all.

5) Its not fair to the Conservatives. Let’s see here.

We have the Liberal Party. Centre Left. Check.

We have the NDP. Far left. Check.

The Bloc. Almost left...

Almost left Canada that is! HAHAHAHAHA...

......................................................................

Not good?

My bad.

And then we have the Green Party? Super far - out of sight - almost communist - left? Check.

By my calculations that’s four Left Wing parties vs. one Right Wing. How can anyone consider that fair?

Dion's Dubious Platform and a Modest Man's Solutions

2008-09-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

Carbon Tax?

Dumb idea. Some provinces (to be specific one province, my province, British Columbia) already have a “carbon tax”. It’s another tax on the middle class and has created a new wealth of bureaucratic harassment and general discontent amongst the population, the majority of which lives around Vancouver and must already pay a transportation tax.

Furthermore, I don’t even understand the tax.

I am made of carbon. My cat is made of carbon. Mcdonald’s Jr. Chickens are made of Carbon. Surely they cannot be bad for this vague term “the environment”. I mean, yes, the cat does just eat, sleep and poop. And I’m sure at night she dreams of laying on my face and suffocating me. But I don’t think any of that is a reason to tax her existence.

So the idea is unsound but that has never stopped a great politician from passing a bill anyways. If Dion were smart he would have named it the F-Cancer Tax. That sucker would’ve passed with flying colours. As a politician it’s almost impossible to win an argument against cancer. Every single voter has some negative experience around the disease and the mention of the word, combined with the association to pollution and sickness rates, would have opposition in a bind. Every time they’d try to debate it rationally they would be talking against strong irrational emotions that would deafen the public to their legitimate concerns.

More importantly the F-Cancer Biill , Dion would have reformed Dion's image of a weakling into a hip, anti-establishment, Trudeau-like statements who wasn’t afraid to say what he meant, and was strong enough to use strong terms. Comparing Harper to Dion, after Dion dropped the F-bomb during his platform speech, would have been like comparing Anne Murray to Shania Twain.

Forgetting about him icing the puck on the environment issue for a minute, the economy is a beautiful idea to get elected on in 2008. Attack the Conservatives at their historically loudest trumpet. And at the same time, maybe “accidentally” reference the post-iceberg Titanic that is nudging its way deeper each day south of the 49th.

Dion hasn’t taken this to the next level unfortunately. The Conservatives have hammered him with attack ads and there has been little to no response. This will not work in Canada which tends to bore out elections like they’re taking place in a library. You’re going to have to turn up the volume on your thoughts dear sir.

Fear: A terrible way to live your life but a great way to get elected. Time to ride that dirty bird and ride it hard. Fear that Harper is little Bush(That one has been covered). Fear that as we watch Leonardo’s white corpse slowly float to the bottom of the ocean he will reach up with one arm and suck our little raft down with him.

A Man Of Many Faces

2008-09-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

One might assume this picture describes the supposed Parliament Hill bathroom sword fight that proved to the Liberal establishment that he was right for the job. One might also want to realize that it’s not the size of the candidate fingers but what he can do with them...

Full bladder, fresh cut onions, or partisan political hack question face? You decide.

How can I butch up?

Mr. Ignatieff sums up the feelings of a nation

What can be down about this weeping mime of a man? I sadly don’t have an answer.
Sometimes I just want to grab him by the shoulders and start shaking him while screaming “Get a hold of yourself man, FOR GODS SAKE! You’re the leader of the Liberals!”.

Canada already has the unfair image of a soft nation who believes more in rational discussion and problem solving than war. And it doesn't help that we are easily compared to our southern neighbours, who tend to feel the exact opposite when it comes to all global issues. So I ask you, how are we suppose to elect a leader that looks like he is about to whip out the tissues before he’s even been elected?

I predict that Dion will fail in the coming election (really going out on a limb with that one, eh?) relegating him to a spot on the Liberal historical platform just below John Turner (at least Turner was P.M. for an entire summer...).

Neon Dion Needs To Bulk Up

2008-09-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

I can't vote for this man.

He always looks frightened.

I beg of you to find me a picture where this man doesn't look like he's about to run away from the school bully. Does it exist? I’m doubtful.

I apologize that I am so superficial in my judgments of Mrs, err, Mr Dion. I've always thought of myself as an issues person but I just can't get past all of his shortcomings. And believe me, there's a lot of them.

1) His face
Will he cry? Won’t he? He gives the impression that the tears will spill at any minute. He reminds me of a weeping mime. Imagine him trying to talk down the Russians?

2) His body
Scrawny. Unimposing. Meager. Emasculated. Physically inferior.

Use a simple thesaurus if you require more. The fact is, is that Dion looks weak. His small frame is only overshadowed by his pale, vampire- like skin.

Is Dion really a vampire? Only for our tax dollars...(Rimshot)

But if the race comes down to arm wrestling tournament, my money is on Dion battling Elizabeth May in the toilet bowl.

3) His voice(Shivers)

Some un’ should ‘av take ‘en im to eh speh’ch coach.

The horrifying tone from his throat is on par with Preston Manning in the “Smash my eardrums with a hammer” awards (Yes those are real awards.)

5) French
If you didn’t know already let me explain the significance of being French. The accent, the arrogance (even if it’s not there, the West coast interprets it anyway), and the cultural/financial ramifications associated with being French can instantly turn off a large segment of the non-Quebec population.
Every time that nasally broken English hits our ears we tend to think of an over represented parliament and unequal share of National spending.

6) His name – I don’t think I’m the only one who gets the picture of a girl named Stephanie selling mustard locked into their head whenever an audio clip naming him is heard.

And is this wasn't enough for the poor rookie leader, the man is constantly compared to his much more assertive predecessors. Let’s review shall we?

Trudeau – Fingered western protesters on a train ride through Salmon Arm. Also enacted Martial Law during terrorist crisis. Rating? Two giant biceps of Prime Minsterial Power

Chretien - Choked a protester who pushed the limits of good taste and respect. Rating? One rear naked choke of Shawinigan adrenaline.

Paul Martin - Had the strong willed, evil businessman going and was even bold enough to secure offshore bank accounts to avoid that pesky income tax. Rating? An Irwin R. Shyster clothesline from hell.

Jack Layton Creeps Me out (Part 3)

2008-08-28T13:59:00.000-07:00

Let’s take a look at where Jack The Ripper stands on the main issues, shall we?

Economy

Well that was uncomfortable.

He seems angry.

But judging by his website once again, Mr. Layton believes the economic future of Canada is in “Green Collar Jobs”. That might seem good for some people;jobs based on environmentally sound energy production and conservation. But that still sounds like a lot of work. What colour of collar would a lazy person’s job be? Because I want one of those.

Oh...

Wait just a second.

I’ve found them. They’re called government jobs.

And apparently they’re located in Ottawa (HA HA...but no seriously, I really want a government job. I find that lately I’ve been having trouble meeting my solitaire quota(BOOM! Throwing bombs. Joke inside of a joke.)).

So under economy I think we can safely put “Mythical Green Jobs”

Healthcare.

Oh boy. This is where things get a little messy. Layton has some great ideas: more training for nurses and doctors, controlling drug costs, and stopping privatization. But then he also has vague ideas like “Real Dignity for Seniors”and “Cost-Saving Innovations".

I thought this was obvious, but I guess some people don't understand that the dignity of seniors is out of the hands of the government, besides maybe the Senate (Ba boom boom ching!).

*Cough*

(It’s funny because the Senators are old.)

Honestly though, it’s not like at the age of 65 we force Seniors to join internment camps where they work janitorial services during the day and then at night perform disgusting circus acts and cabaret shows so that they’re covered by healthcare.

Would Canada be a far superior nation if we made this happen? Yes.

But the point is it doesn’t. So why is the dignity of seniors at risk? I just can’t think of a reason...

Education

Bring tuition down – How stupid. How retarded. What a moro...

Actually I can’t argue with this one. Tuition is absurdly high in many parts of the country and that puts extreme pressures on students to perform (both in and out of the classroom if they want a good mark from certain teachers...)

The Security and Prosperity Partnership

Somehow by the love of Christ and Muhammad at the exact same time, Layton has put forth two ideas I agree with. And he’s even broken down what the S.P.P. will mean to us as Canadians into a simple to understand picture.

Yup. The United States Of North America. Goodbye Healthcare. Goodbye social programs. Hello unified military. Hello unified terrorist attacks.

Layton has the major issues affecting Canadians nicely laid out on his gorgeous website but just for fun (I guess he was bored) he added some non-issues as well.
Like equality for women. I think this has already been covered, sometime before the 1920’s.I believe (Even though women are allowed to wear dress pants to work but I can’t wear a skirt...).

I must admit though, there was one women's issue that interested me.

“Introduced a bill to create a National Breast Implant Registry to protect women’s health.”

Yes.

YES MR. LAYTON!!!

I want to know where the boobies are as well. What province has the most/biggest/youngest etc. Mr. Layton, I salute you and you have just become the winner of this man's vote.

So in summary what have we learned about Mr. Layton?:
1) Male Pattern Baldness? – Check
2) Empty threats and unsubstantiated promises? – Check
3) History of dependence on Social Welfare? – Check
4) Chances of getting elected? – We’ll leave this one open to interpretation
5)Will he get my vote? – Boobies...

Jack Layton Creeps Me Out (Part 2)

2008-08-27T17:44:00.000-07:00

Find Part 1 Of This Article Here
Find Part 3 Of This Article Here

Ignoring the effect his appearance has on me, who really is Jack Layton?

Lets start at the most convenient source;his propaganda laden NDP website.

Oh he’s leaning to the left. How subtle.

I wonder if he knows that the left hand is the popular representation of the side and sign of the devil?

Probably not.

But apparently other cultures do and are far more intuned with the sinisterness of this dirty direction.

“The left side is often associated with awkwardness and clumsiness. The Dutch expression "twee linkerhanden hebben" and the Bulgarian expression "dve levi ratse" ("to have two left hands") both mean being clumsy. The English phrase, to have "two left feet" means to be bad at dancing. As these are all very old words/phrases, they support theories indicating that the predominance of right-handedness is an extremely old phenomenon.

In ancient China, the left has been the "bad" side. The adjective "left" (左 Mandarin: zuǒ) means "improper" or "out of accord". For instance, the phrase "left path" (左道 Mandarin: zuǒdao) stands for illegal or immoral means.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-handed

Oh jeez.

Psst, Jacky boy. For the love of god and country, STRAIGHTEN UP THAT POSE!

*G-ranical waits...*

Damnit! Too late.

“Amongst Muslims, and in some societies including India, it is customary to use the left hand for cleaning oneself with water after defecating.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-handed

Oh Jesus Christ!

Or should I say Oh Muhammad.

Well I think we can assume that you’ve lost that subsection of voters completely now, can't we? No one wants to vote for the poop hand side. I know I don’t.

“Layton and the New Democrat caucus have dragged the agenda back to the issues that matter to everyday Canadians. And even the jaded media are noticing."
http://www.ndp.ca/jacklayton

Oh no! I feel so emo.

Is Jack talking about me? Has my disillusionment with the BC NDP fiscal irresponsibility and corruption deadened my soul to the Federal Orange and Green warriors?

Or is it my disgust with the power hungry, egotistical, emotionally retarded teachers I’ve encountered in my small time university experience that has blackened my heart to his famous Layton sneer?

“Outside politics, Layton has been Chair of the Toronto Board of Health, a university professor...”http://www.ndp.ca/jacklayton

Yup definitely the school angle.

I just get the feeling that the “Professor” is talking down to me as a Canadian like he has done during his teaching career. Another problem I have is the fact that this man spent so much of his life in school. School is like this nether-zone of a dictatorial unreality where ego’s grow rampant amongst self centered and pompous individuals who have never really entertained a life where real work is done for a monetary exchange. It’s a place where people have gone from students to boss in a strange and inappropriate jump found only in the education system and some parts of my imagination.

Jack Layton Creeps Me Out (Part 1)

2008-07-28T15:47:00.000-07:00

What better way to start a new blog in Canadian Politics then by discussing my disenfranchisement with every single leader of this country.

Find Part 2 Of This Article Here
Find Part 3 Of This Article Here

I've voted for this man but he still creeps me out.

Just look at him. Anything about this picture make you feel comfortable and at ease?

No?

Me neither.

That's right. He's...off putting.

And I'm not just saying that because he resembles a beaver. Lets get one thing straight here. Beavers are cool. They're perfect and beautiful and productive in all their marvelous forms.

Jack Layton is no beaver.

And I voted for him. Whoa is me says this "commie".
I'm not really a commie. I believe in free health care and socialized protection agencies to help the average person when they need it, but other than that I'm as right wing as they come...

If I lived on the other side of the border, however, I would probably be called some "liberal" tree hugger or "hater of freedom" depending on how South and to what trailer parks I traveled.

Can you imagine what would happen if he got elected? Mayhem everywhere.

I mean sure at first things will seem to be better. Our reliance on fossil fuels will disappear when Layton institutes massive Federal funding for wind and solar power technologies. And then there would be that problem of tax money going to social programs instead of to giant corporations who make more then our national GDP. I'm sure that would make those rich CEO's angry when their bonus checks go from the 10's of millions to just millions. I for one don't want to see an angry CEO crying on the TV that our government is forcing him to drive a limousine instead of a helicopter. Think of his children...

And the final insult would be when Prime Minster Layton changes 24 Sussex Drive into Muskrat lodge so he and his family can enjoy comfortable surroundings. Then we further have to worry about supplying them all with the massive amounts of carrots we know they must consume to keep their beautiful teeth so sharp. At least we won't have to pay for eye exams or glasses. That man can scope out a successful corporation to ruin from miles away.

What will Canada do then I must ask? Do you want to live in a disgusting country like that? A place where money saved from avoiding oil wars is on spent on communist-style national transportation.

I'll tell you this: The day that I ride a speed train from Vancouver to Toronto is the day this man calls it in. Jack Layton can pull my inefficient, dangerous, polluting, individual transportation device from my cold, dead hands!