5 year plans, Listeriosis and Plagiarism: Not The Soivet Union But Close

Part 1 of this article found here
Part 3 of this article found here

CONSUMER ISSUES

-Consumer asks about oil reserves in Canada and how it doesn’t translate to average Canadian. The consumer asks about Nationalization(Next this random consumer will want to know about 5 year plans).

-Dion responds with vagueness. NUMBERS DION! “We ‘ave a plan, we ‘ave a strategy”. I’m sure you do.

-Green Party not in favour. G-ranical shocked. G-ranical kidding. May thinks consumers need alternative energy sources

-Duceppe is not in favour. Ottawa would want to take control of Quebec’s hydro. Subtext? "OUT OF THE QUESTION YOU DIRTY ANGLO FIENDS!"

-Harper cuts tax for gas. States Canada benefited greatly from high oil prices (at least people working in Alberta did).

-“Just like in school, I see people raise their hands, Mr. Dion and Mr. Layton” (Moderator burns both opposition members in the same sentence!)

-Duceppe believes “Polluter pay principle” to lower emissions. G-ranical believes “West pays East principle” to run Canadian economy.

-May thinks cutting GST (Notes that Harper stole idea from Australian PM. Again with the plagiarism) doesn’t help the average person. Must reduce income taxes. Payroll taxes for employers and employees and not reduce corporate taxes. But that begs the question; who will ever want to move up to management then?

-NDP doesn’t support increase on GST (hmm). Believes in renewable energy and infrastructures.

-Dion – Harpers plan criticized economically, bureaucratically and environmentally. Fails to note all 3 criticisms come from himself.

LISTERIOSIS ISSUE

-Duceppe thinks this is a case of Laissez Faire (DAMNIT! Even in the translation Duceppe is confusing me)

-Harper is evil – de-regulation caused Listeriosis. More of this in our future. G-ranical thinks Harper should wash his hands more often.


ENVIRONMENT

-May says Harper’s Carbon targets are dangerous. Threatening future with this plan. Canada lacking behind the rest of the world. “Your plan is a type of a fraud.”

-Harper blames Liberal inaction from past. Says he has hard targets. The targets are Duceppe, Dion, and Layton, in that order.

-Layton says Harper is the only leader of a developed country that is following his environmental approach, as Bush is leaving office. (Nobody laughs). During this May laughs and says it’s a joke.(Sorry. No one of importance laughs). Viewers don’t see the comedy of it but it must be an inside joke.

-Layton says Harper gave polluters Carte Blanche (Another French reference flies over my head).

-“It’s a faceoff between Duceppes finger and May’s smile. Duceppes finger will go first.” Moderator tries to bring humour to this dull church sermon.