Jack Layton Creeps Me out (Part 3)

Let’s take a look at where Jack The Ripper stands on the main issues, shall we?

Economy



Well that was uncomfortable.

He seems angry.

But judging by his website once again, Mr. Layton believes the economic future of Canada is in “Green Collar Jobs”. That might seem good for some people;jobs based on environmentally sound energy production and conservation. But that still sounds like a lot of work. What colour of collar would a lazy person’s job be? Because I want one of those.

Oh...

Wait just a second.

I’ve found them. They’re called government jobs.

And apparently they’re located in Ottawa (HA HA...but no seriously, I really want a government job. I find that lately I’ve been having trouble meeting my solitaire quota(BOOM! Throwing bombs. Joke inside of a joke.)).

So under economy I think we can safely put “Mythical Green Jobs”

Healthcare.

Oh boy. This is where things get a little messy. Layton has some great ideas: more training for nurses and doctors, controlling drug costs, and stopping privatization. But then he also has vague ideas like “Real Dignity for Seniors”and “Cost-Saving Innovations".

I thought this was obvious, but I guess some people don't understand that the dignity of seniors is out of the hands of the government, besides maybe the Senate (Ba boom boom ching!).

*Cough*

(It’s funny because the Senators are old.)

Honestly though, it’s not like at the age of 65 we force Seniors to join internment camps where they work janitorial services during the day and then at night perform disgusting circus acts and cabaret shows so that they’re covered by healthcare.



Would Canada be a far superior nation if we made this happen? Yes.

But the point is it doesn’t. So why is the dignity of seniors at risk? I just can’t think of a reason...



Education

Bring tuition down – How stupid. How retarded. What a moro...

Actually I can’t argue with this one. Tuition is absurdly high in many parts of the country and that puts extreme pressures on students to perform (both in and out of the classroom if they want a good mark from certain teachers...)

The Security and Prosperity Partnership

Somehow by the love of Christ and Muhammad at the exact same time, Layton has put forth two ideas I agree with. And he’s even broken down what the S.P.P. will mean to us as Canadians into a simple to understand picture.



Yup. The United States Of North America. Goodbye Healthcare. Goodbye social programs. Hello unified military. Hello unified terrorist attacks.

Layton has the major issues affecting Canadians nicely laid out on his gorgeous website but just for fun (I guess he was bored) he added some non-issues as well.
Like equality for women. I think this has already been covered, sometime before the 1920’s.I believe (Even though women are allowed to wear dress pants to work but I can’t wear a skirt...).

I must admit though, there was one women's issue that interested me.

“Introduced a bill to create a National Breast Implant Registry to protect women’s health.”


Yes.

YES MR. LAYTON!!!



I want to know where the boobies are as well. What province has the most/biggest/youngest etc. Mr. Layton, I salute you and you have just become the winner of this man's vote.

So in summary what have we learned about Mr. Layton?:
1) Male Pattern Baldness? – Check
2) Empty threats and unsubstantiated promises? – Check
3) History of dependence on Social Welfare? – Check
4) Chances of getting elected? – We’ll leave this one open to interpretation
5)Will he get my vote? – Boobies...